A small glossary for parents

Plain definitions of the words you’ll hear in parenting work.

Co-regulation: The way one nervous system borrows steadiness from another. A regulated adult’s calm voice, slow breath, and presence help a child’s stress system return to baseline. Read more.
Repair: The conversation a parent comes back to after a rupture: name it, take responsibility, say what you wish you had done, reconnect. Read more.
Rupture: A moment of disconnection between parent and child. Unavoidable. What matters is the repair.
Name it to tame it: A phrase from Dr. Dan Siegel for putting feelings into words. Naming the feeling reconnects the emotional brain to the thinking brain. Read more.
Somatic regulation: Working with the body to settle the nervous system: slow breath, grounding, water on the wrists, a hand on the chest.
Dysregulation: A nervous system pushed past its window of tolerance. The thinking brain is offline. Reasoning does not work in this state. Co-regulation does.
Window of tolerance: The zone where a nervous system can think, feel, and respond flexibly. Outside the window, the system flips into fight, flight, freeze, or shutdown.
Attachment: The patterned relationship a child builds with a caregiver based on whether their needs are met. Secure attachment forms when a child experiences enough moments of being seen, soothed, safe, and supported.
Generational pattern: A way of relating passed unconsciously from one generation to the next. Naming a pattern is the first step to choosing whether to keep it.
Repair window: The hour or two after a rupture in which repair lands most powerfully.
Satsang: Sanskrit for “to gather in truth.” Read more.